The Reset Button
by SkywalkerChild
Summary: One letter from an old friend, and it all goes down hill...
1. Stop

Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story are the property of George Lucas and/or the artists who created them.  No money is being made from this writing, and no infringement is intended.   Lyrics have been stolen from Savage Garden's "I Don't Know You Anymore" and no infringement is intended there either.

Spoilers: This takes place sometime after Star by Star.

The Reset Button

Chapter One: Stop 

Luke watched the recorded message again, amazed at the memories her face and voice were managing to conjure up.  In all the chaos that was happening in the universe, he couldn't draw himself away from a specter of his past.

"I know this is probably the worst timing a person could possibly have," she repeated for him, chuckling nervously, "but I decided I have been putting this off long enough.  I wanted to let you know I was okay, but something always seemed to stop me.  First it was the Force, or lack thereof; then it was a man named Danen," she sighed, her gray eyes misting over a little bit as she ran a hand through her short brown hair.  "And, most recently, a woman named Mara and her child named Ben."

As she said his wife's name, Luke instinctively reached out for her, sensing that she and Ben were still peacefully dreaming in their room on the _Millennium Falcon_.  Luke recognized that he should have been in bed as well, but he needed to stay by the com, just in case.

"I can't lie to you, Luke; I was a little shocked by the announcement that you were going to marry her.  But a lot has changed since we last saw each other, so who was I to judge that?  It almost made me wish I had tried to contact you sooner."

A rustle from behind Luke made his face flush as he hit the pause button and turned off the display almost simultaneously.  Not quick enough, however, because he felt his sister's hand on his shoulder and she spun the chair around.

"What are you doing?" Leia asked after a few moments of silence.

All Luke could think to do was shrug.  "I don't know, Leia; searching for an answer, maybe hoping for some closure."

Leia raised an eyebrow.  "I thought a wife and child would be closure enough, Luke."

He shook his head.  "I never got to really say goodbye to her; a wave just didn't do our relationship justice.  And since the Vong…I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to her, if she was among the living or the dead."  He sighed, pressing his tired blue eyes with the heels of his hands.  "Now I have an answer to one question, but its just brought up so many others."

Leia crouched down in front of her brother and placed her hands on his knees.  "What does her message say, Luke?"

He closed his eyes, almost smiling at the way her face just reappeared in his mind, without him having to conjure it.  Even if this new picture was twelve years older, it still felt like the same woman.

"She said that after the marriage was announced, she decided it was best not to contact me, even though she thought she might have found a way to open herself up to the Force.  It seemed silly to her then, I guess.  So she worked at it herself, quietly, and has made a little progress."

Leia interrupted.  "What about the Vong?"

Luke nodded.  "Once it became clear that the New Republic army wasn't going to be doing much to save back-water planets like Chad, she joined a small resistance movement and helped people safely evacuate the planet and get to, hopefully, more stable places."  He opened his eyes, her face still floating in front of him.  "They've had to evacuate the planet, but she says that if we need her help, she and the resistance group can be here."

Leia pursed her lips, thinking.  She knew how it felt to have Han's old loves wandering back into his life, but she also trusted Han, and knew he loved her.  Mara didn't truly trust anyone, and from the way her brother had been obsessing over the message…

"What are you going to tell her?" she finally asked.

He pulled a padd out of his pants' pocket and gave it to her.  "I'm sending her the coordinates of one of the civilian corps.  They can use someone with the disciplined training that she's had."

Leia knew everything he wasn't telling her: to bring this former lover into his life now would only complicate things more.  It was bad enough that he had this single message to play for himself; being in each other's company might have been too much for either of them to handle.

Standing, Leia kissed her brother on the top of his head.  "Try to get some sleep, Luke.  A generation of Jedi is going to need some strong guidance very soon."

He nodded again as she left, and then turned back towards the monitor.  Turning it back on, he rewound past her offer of assistance, and then pressed play:

"I hope you're happy, Luke; and I'm glad for you.  I've offered wondered what it would be like if I ever did see you again—what would we say, what would we do?  I was the first to break the silence; I was trying to be courageous.  Have you forgiven me, Luke?  Do you understand now why I did what I did?"  She shook her head.  "This isn't sent out of guilt, I just…what I wouldn't give if I could see your face again."  She sighed.  "Please get back to me about the assistance though, Luke; this battle is something we both need to fight."

He turned off the monitor, saving the message deep within the _Falcon_'s memory core.  Someday, when all this was over, he might actually send her a real message, and not just the typed text of coordinates.  He would let her know then that he had forgiven her, and he'd never blamed her to begin with.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Ben stirred, and would soon begin to cry.  Luke rushed towards the cabin he and Mara were sharing before the child woke up the sleeping mother.


	2. Rewind

Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to George Lucas and/or their creators.  Influenced heavily by the song "Believe in You" by Amanda Marshall.  No infringement is intended in either case.

Spoilers:  Star By Star

The Reset Button Chapter Two: Rewind 

Despite the fact that the galaxy was falling to pieces around him, Luke Skywalker was taking a break.  If anyone had seen him in the _Falcon_ and asked what he was doing, he would have told them that he was planning a counterstrike.  The statement was partially true; he was talking to the leader of a civilian contingent of fighters, but they weren't spending much time talking about the war.  They both needed a break from the conflict.

"It's happening slowly," she said in between sips of tea.  They'd both taken up the habit somewhere around their fifth conversation; it made it feel like they were sitting on a couch together, not separated by light years in separate space craft.  "Or maybe my instincts are just getting better.  But I'm more…aware of everything than I have been in a long time, and I'm beginning to sense emotions more than I could a year ago."

He sipped his own tea, pensive.  "Are you happy about this?"

She seemed to think about.  "Yes, I am.  It's not that I didn't feel complete before, but now I'm beginning to feel more like myself."

He nodded.  "I could use another pair of skilled hands out here."  Luke put his cup down and leaned in closer to the screen.  His voice dropped to a whisper, as if he feared someone would find out whom he was talking to, what he was talking about.  "They're all so young, Callista; some of these kids I've never even trained with.  And now they want to help save the galaxy.  They hear stories from Kyp, or Jaina, and then my teachings seem antiquated and ineffective."  He paused, but she knew not to interrupt him.  She knew he wasn't done yet.  "And of course, I can't get any support from anywhere.  Everybody wants the Jedi to save them, but no body wants the government to know about it.  Even the government doesn't want the government to know about it."  He sighed and went back to his tea.

Her voice was low, soothing.  He remembered hearing it one night in the temple after he'd had a nightmare, before Mara was sharing his bed.  The memory had helped him get back to sleep.  But now the voice was real:

"Luke you have to remember who you are—the first of the new Jedi Masters.  You've seen things and done things that some of these kids, even Kyp, can't imagine doing.  You have to make them hear you, make them understand that you know what you're talking about."  She rubbed her grey eyes, clearly searching to bolster is fading esteem.  "Your battles against the Empire, this battle against the Vong…how different are they really?   You've got to save the galaxy from a threat that outnumbers you a million to one, and you have to do it while killing as few of your own people as possible.  Some of the galaxy is with you, but most of them are afraid of the Vong, and afraid of the Jedi.  Doesn't this all sound familiar?" 

He smiled a little, vaguely aware that his tea was getting cold.  "Yes."

She shrugged.  "Then make the younger Jedi see it; show them how you need to work together to destroy evil.  Splintering within the group won't do anybody any good."

Callista's brows furrowed.  "You act like I'm the first person to tell you this."

He nodded, leaning back in his chair.  "Everyone just assumes I can handle it; war hero must equal unshakeable."

She bit her bottom lip a little, concentrating on which words to use with him.  "I believe in you, Luke.  I've always known that you could right the wrongs of my Jedi Order.  And if you ever need someone to talk to about it, to remind you of what you're doing…" She let her voice trail off.    

The comforting words sunk into his sponge-like heart; he had been thirsting to hear them. He wondered why she had decided to grow her hair out, but decided he wouldn't ask.  "You really think we can beat them?  We just keep losing so many, and I'm…afraid.  I don't want to leave Ben without a father; I know what that's like…"

She shook her head.  "You can't think about that.  If you want to think about your family, remember that your sacrifice will help them stay free of the Vong.  Don't let fear paralyze you into inaction.  You're old enough now not to do anything reckless, Luke; your death won't be because you flew into a scout ship."  She reached out toward the screen, trying to touch him and reassure him of it all.  "We can beat this, Luke.  I didn't come back after thirty years in a hard drive to watch the galaxy fall apart like this."

He grinned.  It felt good to hear optimism; he'd been surrounded by sorrow and uncertainty for far too long.  He wanted to give her a hug, to thank her for all the support she didn't have to give him.  He wanted to tell her all the things they'd avoided talking about, because it might become too painful for them both.

Abruptly, she turned to face off screen.  "Luke, something's happening outside.  I have to go."

He felt his heart race with fear.  "Vong?"

She was already turning off the screen.  "I hope not."


	3. Slow Motion

Disclaimer: The characters belong to George Lucas and/or their creators. Theme and partial dialogue stolen from Alanis Morissette's "Flinch." No infringement intended in either case.

The Reset Button

****

Chapter Three: Slow Motion

Callista looked around her and once again felt resignation and defeatism creeping in. They had lost twelve more people to the Vong. In the galactic scheme of things, it didn't seem like much. But Callista had known everyone of the beings who had died, and she had felt each one go.

The medical ship was quieter than it had a right to be; with all the battles in the galaxy, it should have been brimming with medical staff and patients. But far too few people were returning from the battles with the Vong; Callista counted herself as lucky once again.

Something stirred inside her. She expected to feel her commander's approaching presence, but instead got the jarring feeling of over a decade ago.

__

Luke.

Even thinking his name reverberated through her like an earthquake. She kicked herself mentally for the reaction; she was a grown woman after all. And he was married. But sending him that message had been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do; talking to him only made it worse. If she had to see him…she shook her head. She wouldn't know what to do.

The door opened, and she was more than a little relieved to see her commander walk in instead of Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master and new father. Raimind walked over to her bed and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"You scared us there, Callista. You have to remember to _throw_ the grenade after you pull the pin out." His voice was only a little reprimanding, mostly relieved.

She saluted him with her good hand. "Yes sir. I'm sorry, I guess I got a little carried away with the situation."

He sat down on the edge of her bed, looking at her skeptically. She had only known Raimind for a few months, but it had been long enough for him to read her no matter how desperately she tried to hide her feelings.

"Who is he?" he asked.

Callista let out her millionth sigh since _he _had come back into her life. She trusted Raimind, but could hardly drop this bombshell on a man who was trying to keep his tiny civilian unit of rebels in tact.

"An old flame," she answered carefully. "I'd heard some thing about him and I wanted to congratulate him on his new life. We've been talking fairly regularly." She paused. "I think he might be here."

Raimind suddenly looked intrigued, the way old women get excited when they play sabaac together. "Want me to bring him here?"

Callista stopped to think about it. If she could see him again, maybe it would really feel like it was over. Maybe she wouldn't feel so…shackled to him, but in the best possible of ways.

She shook her head. "Just let me know who the injured were that came in on that last ship. I hope nothing too bad has happened to him." Raimind nodded. "Then let's see about getting out of here."


	4. Play

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters I am using in this story.  They are the property of George Lucas.  Any stolen lyrics used are from the song "Bed of Lies" by Matchbox 20.  No infringement is intended in either case.

Author's Note: No, I don't know how many there will be in this series.  Sometimes I just get into this mood.

The Reset Button Chapter 4: Play 

To anyone who believed hard enough, there was no war raging outside the ship's hull; the galaxy was not on the brink.  Traveling through hyperspace, the battles against the Vong were almost distant memories.  Luke Skywalker was sitting up in bed, listening to his wife snore lightly, and watching their young son sleep dreamlessly.

He wanted everything to go back to the way it had been.  He was tired of fighting battles that they never seemed to win; he was tired of fearing for the future of his infant.  He was just plain tired.  

It would be several more hours before Luke and his family arrived at the next destination in their attempts to hide all military operations from the Vong.  The Jedi Master knew he should try and get some sleep, but his mind was too active.  There were just too many things to think about.

Looking at Mara, it still amazed him that they had gotten married and had a child together.  It was no longer sheer awe over her stunning beauty, or a feeling that he had been blessed by her consenting to be part of his life.  No, he was just shocked that they had made it this far.  She had almost died, the Vong were trying to kill all the Jedi…she had once tried to kill him.

Surprisingly, Callista had never asked about that in their conversations.  The former-Jedi had asked about their wedding and the birth of their son, but she had never asked him "Luke, how could you love the woman that had tried to kill you?"  He was glad she hadn't asked him, because he wasn't really sure he had a good answer.

Throwing the blankets back, Luke quietly exited their quarters and began to pace through the dimly lit hallways of the ship.  He tried to remember the last time he and Mara had made love, and he couldn't.  He tried to remember when the last time was that she'd told him that she loved him; it was hard to recall.  He couldn't even remember the last time that he'd said he loved her.  

The smiles had been enough for a while—one in the morning as they woke, one in the evening as they went to bed.  He'd been telling himself that he could _feel_ how much his wife loved him; he didn't need to hear.  Funny that she didn't offer to say it, either.

He could have tossed it all up to the war; it was taking a lot out of everyone.  He'd seen Han and Leia almost lose it all.  But they had come back from the brink.  And he could actually feel their love for each other, no matter what was going on.  Could he honestly say the same thing about Mara and himself?

"Luke?"  Her voice was groggy and concerned.  

He looked up to see Mara standing in the doorway of their room, wearing the blankets like a long cape.  He smiled at her briefly and then walked over to give her a hug.

"Are you all right?"

He thought about lying to her, and saying that everything was fine.  But Mara knew him better than that.  Ushering her back inside the room, he closed their door and locked it.  She sat down on the bed, watching him with curious, but sleepy, green eyes.

"I'm not sure we're being honest with each other, Mara."  She raised a red eyebrow, but didn't say anything.  He sat down next to her on the bed, taking her hand in his.

"Doesn't it ever feel to you like…well, like we're not really meeting each other's needs?  Do the moments ever seem…hollow, empty?"

She was angry, that much was immediately clear.  But Luke also sensed that she wasn't angry with him, so much as with herself for not having admitted his questions earlier than 0300 hours a year and a half into their marriage.

"Maybe," she answered, still trying to be optimistic.  "What's bringing this on, Skywalker?"

He involuntarily flinched; it was like hearing Han call him 'kid.'  Shaking it off, and hoping she didn't notice, he took a deep breath:

"I've been talking to Callista for the past month and a half."

Mara pressed her lips together, turning them almost as pale as her skin.  Anger rose inside her again, and this time he was definitely the cause.  "Have you been seeing her?"

He shook his head.  "No.  But talking with her has got me thinking…Mara, I think we might have been wrong."

Luke had hurt her.  Unconsciously, their gazes fell on Ben, who still slept peacefully despite the emotional turmoil in the room with him.  She was the first to look away, and her eyes were a little moister than they had been.

"Was he a mistake too?"

"No," he breathed softly.  "Ben is the best thing that has ever happened to me."  He squeezed her hand gently.  "But Mara, it doesn't feel like passion anymore when I see you; it doesn't even feel like love.  Its just sort of…acceptance."

She nodded.  "I didn't want to be the one to turn the whole thing over," she finally said after a moment of silence.

"I know," he whispered.  "But it's not there any more, Mara; some needs are just not being met."

"Is it because of _her_?" she asked.

Luke shook his head.  "She was a catalyst for it all, but if you're asking me if I'm leaving you for her…no.  I've never discussed any of this with her; I don't think she feels anything for me more than nostalgia."

He took some of the extra blankets and put them on the floor by Ben's crib.  To Mara's upturned eyebrow, he could only answer: "It's better than sleeping in a bed of lies."


	5. Reset

Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story are the property of George Lucas and/or the artists who created them. No money is being made from this writing, and no infringement is intended. Lyrics have been stolen from BNLs _Go Home_ and no infringement is intended there either.

Rating: PG

Author's Note: Takes place sometime after Star by Star, so just ignore everything after that.

****

The Reset Button:  
Chapter Four: Fast Forward

Luke sat in the common area of the _Millennium Falcon_, drinking something steaming. Confusion and concern rolled off of his sister, but no reprimands or anger built up in her. Luke didn't bother to repress his surprise.

"Go to her," his sister finally said. She had sensed his turmoil for days and had finally gone to his newly solitary quarters and had coaxed him out to a place in their youth when there were no women to worry about.

"What?" Luke blinked. That was not the answer he had expected from her.

"Instead of sitting here whining and moaning about how you are so confused…call her, and let her know you want to talk about it. You haven't been sleeping, your emotions are all over the map…go to her." Leia's voice was calm, not berating. She just wanted him to be happy.

"But Mara…"

Leia shook her head. "You've already made up your mind about that; you've got to start over. I love Mara, Luke, but you two made a mistake. Hearts will be broken, but you'll always be connected."

He sighed, absently taking a sip of the lukewarm drink in front of him. "I'm afraid to hear from Callista, but it's driving me crazy that I haven't heard from her: rushed heartbeat, I can't speak sometimes…"

"Go to her," she repeated for the third time. "Callista was willing to give you everything; she sacrificed the Force for you, albeit unknowingly. She didn't blame you for it. If you're sure about this…"

He nodded. "I'm sure." There was a question brewing in Leia's mind, and even though he didn't have to, Luke answered it anyway. "I never got over her, Leia. Mara is wonderful but…she's not what I expected myself to be with. We're a bit too…polar." He shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, Ben is one of the best things that's ever happened to me…"

Leia shrugged. "It happens, Luke. But if Callista is what you want…go to her. Go to her _now_. You know where she is. The Vong seem to be quiet for a moment…and going to a civilian resistance outpost isn't the _worst_ place you could be."

"I just hope…" he started, swallowing the now cold beverage. "I just hope that when I get there, she feels the same way."

Leia smiled that all-knowing, sisterly smile and shoved him toward the X-wing's docking clamp. "Go home." 


	6. End Credits

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the idea; I'd appreciate it if Mr. Lucas and Ms. Hambly didn't sue me, as all I've got to offer is an '88 Volvo.

Author's Note: No music this time, but the story needed to be finished.

****

The Reset Button:  
Chapter Six: End Credits

The hanger bay rang with a cacophony of sounds: species shouting at each other in different languages, parts being dropped, carts being pushed. Sweat, blood, fighter fuel and caf mixed together for a not-wholly unpleasant smell. Inside the _Crusader_, it looked as though all was well.

Callista lay on her back, staring at the underside of an A-wing. The small rolling platform did little to relieve the pressure on her joints and she could feel bruises forming at the corners. Still, the fighter needed repair while things were quiet. It wouldn't do anyone a bit of good if the stabilizer flew off in the middle of battle.

She brought one grease-covered hand to the back of her head, scratching where her neck met her skull. The itch had been persistent for days, and no amount of topical treatment was solving the problem. _I'm probably allergic to the filtered water_, she thought.

Above the din, she became aware of someone walking towards her. The man was a ball of nervousness and excitement, with a bit of caution thrown in to spice things up. Sliding out from underneath the fighter, Callista raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"A problem, Raimind?" 

He shook his head. "No…well, yes…maybe?" He shook his head again. "I'm not sure exactly. You, uh, have a visitor."

Callista raised her other eyebrow. "A visitor? No one knows I'm here."

Raimind shrugged. "Tell that to the Jedi Master waiting in your quarters."

__

Luke!

And then the itching made sense; he'd been getting closer the whole time, but didn't want her to know. It was a surprise. A welcome surprise.

Dropping her tools, Callista dashed out of the hanger bay and through the corridors of her temporary home. Somewhere inside she thought she should change, or take a shower, or even stop to think about why he was here. Was it to see her? Or to ask for her help.

The trip was over nearly before it began, and Callista found herself outside the doors of the quarters she shared with two other women. Inside the room, a presence throbbed, a bright beacon of Force energy, anxiously awaiting her arrival. It picked up as she stepped closer to the door; he knew she was there.

With a deep breath, she keyed the door and let herself in.

Although she'd talked to him over the comm, nothing replaced this real meeting. He was shorter than she had remembered, and his hair was showing more gray than the Holonet had let on. His eyes though, were that same fierce blue that could not be quenched or defeated, no matter what was thrown his way. He'd not succumbed to the expanding waistline of middle age; in fact, he seemed to have lost weight.

They stood in silence at opposite ends of the room, taking each other in. Callista became even more aware of the grease smudges on her hair and face, and the blue cover-all she was wearing. Definitely not how she had planned their reunion.

The itching at the base of her skull had faded into a gentle questioning. Bit by bit, she opened parts of herself up to him, and he to her, as they gently explored each other for emotions and answers. The emotions were too jumbled to decipher, however, and the answers were merely questions.

"You're a little more…rugged, than I remember," Luke finally said, his voice gravelly from disuse. He smiled though and Callista laughed.

"If I'd known you were coming, I probably would've taken a shower." She grinned. "Probably."

The silence fell over them again and Callista found herself staring at the floor, drawing patterns with the dirt on her boot. She felt him coming over, but before she could look up, his right hand was on her shoulder and his left was lifting her chin.

"I came to see _you_, Callista, not the Cell Leader, not the Jedi…just the woman. I need to know…how you feel."

She tried to ignore all the sensations that rolled over her body the closer her stood. "You're married," she whispered, the first time she'd uttered the words. The sounded hollow in her heart.

He shook his head. "Not anymore. I left her. Not for you, but for me. And yet…I couldn't stop thinking about you and I had to know…if you still felt something. Something that wasn't nostalgia."

She stood there, trying to find an answer. There had been other men since she'd left Luke, but none of it had _felt_ quite the same. Had she pined away for him all these years, hoping he'd come back to her? No. But the thought of being with him again, to discuss the Force, to learn and to teach, to fight the battles that needed to be fought…

He waited on the edge of her consciousness, impatience battling with Jedi codes as he prepared for his answer. She flicked across him briefly, judging for herself what he might want her to say.

"I've missed you," she finally whispered, leveling her eyes on his. "For over a decade, I've wanted to talk to you, to be in your presence again. And now that I'm here…its exactly how I remembered it, but…deeper somehow." She smiled. "I thought you'd never get here."

He dropped his left hand, only to wrap her tightly in a hug. He still smelled of the long spaceflight, but she knew she was worse for wear. Bringing her own arms around his waist, she leaned into him, reveling in the strength and absolute certainty they were both feeling at the moment. 

Pulling away for a minute, he leaned down. "There's been something I've been meaning to do for a long time now."

He brought his face down and kissed her. 


End file.
